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Wednesday 09/10/25
Thru the Bible: Proverbs 12
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Wisdom affects your words
Proverbs 12:1-28,
“(1) Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but one who hates correction is stupid.”
This verse is about discipline. The scriptures have a fair amount to say about the heart’s response to discipline – arguably more than it has to say about discipline itself – which makes sense.
One of the greatest instructions we have for how to view and receive discipline is found in Hebrew 12, and given the nature of the Proverbs, it might serve us well to read it.
Hebrews 12:5-15, “(5) And have you forgotten the exhortation addressed to you as sons? “My son, do not scorn the Lord’s discipline or give up when he corrects you. (6) “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves and chastises every son he accepts.”
(7) Endure your suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline? (8) But if you do not experience discipline, something all sons have shared in, then you are illegitimate and are not sons.
(9) Besides, we have experienced discipline from our earthly fathers and we respected them; shall we not submit ourselves all the more to the Father of spirits and receive life?
(10) For they disciplined us for a little while as seemed good to them, but He does so for our benefit, that we may share His holiness.
(11) Now all discipline seems painful at the time, not joyful. But later it produces the fruit of peace and righteousness for those trained by it. (12) Therefore, strengthen your listless hands and your weak knees, (13) and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but be healed.
(14) Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness, for without it no one will see the Lord. (15) See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God, that no one be like a bitter root springing up and causing trouble, and through it many become defiled.”
A unique consideration is that earlier in the chapter we are encouraged to lay aside every weight that slows down our progress as well as the sin that so easily trips us up. As such, the son here in this passage might not have done anything wrong as in sin, but only needed correction in how to better run the race unencumbered. Those who approach this discipline as the life line that it is, will be brought to life, righteousness and holiness.
A thorough exegesis of this passage in Hebrews 12 is helpful but not on our radar for tonight. Just know that the one who views and responds to discipline the right way has no need for fear of falling short of the grace of God and proper holiness.
Intention is not everything – neither is motive, but to think that they fail to be considered by the righteous judge is incorrect. You can do something wrong when in your heart you thought you were doing something good. God takes this into consideration. He does not let you slide on the wrong – He will correct you, but He’s not angry at you – and make no mistake, God does get angry at His people. A casual reading of the scripture reveals this. God got so angry with Israel that He told Moses to get out of the camp so He could kill them all.
Not to mention Jesus, Who loved His disciples, said a few times, “How long am I going to have to put up with you?” So we do elicit an emotional response from God, but that is all the more proof that He loves you. I am reminded of a song from Michael Card called, Why? On his album ‘Known by the Scars’ that has a perfect line to illustrate this truth. It is found in the opening stanza of the song and goes like this,
“Why did it have to be a friend
Who chose to betray the Lord?
And why did he use a kiss to show them
That’s not what a kiss is for?
Only a friend can betray a friend
A stranger has nothing to gain
And only a friend comes close enough
To ever cause so much pain”
So it is our closeness to His heart that causes the frustration or anger in the first place. Someone who is NOT God’s child, may anger Him, but not like His children can, and I think every parent in the world can understand that! And I think this truth has a bearing on the words of this verse.
Consider verse 2…
“(2) The good obtain favor from the LORD, but He condemns a man who schemes.”
“Good” here is a relative term. It does not mean ultimate goodness, for that only can be said of God Who is the source and embodiment of all good. Here the “good person” literally is one who is well-pleasing, fruitful, coral, proper, appealing and pleasant to God.
We can learn much about the intended meaning of any contrasting proverb by considering what is presented as its opposite. Here the opposite to the “good man” is a “schemer”. The word “schemes” here means exactly like it sounds. It is a conniver – a person who plots secretly, often in a deceptive way. A person who makes wicked plans.
So what attributes does this person have that in considering his opposite we might better understand the “good man”?
A conniver’s or “schemer’s“ goals are self-serving, therefore they are filled with pride. The fact that they plot and plan show they are attempting to manipulate an outcome in a different direction than it was designed to. As such they develop their plans in secret, so as to not be found out. Such a person is condemned by the Lord. He actively resists him.
So a “good man” is one who is humble, and whose goals include the benefit of others. They do what they do in the light so their works can be seen to be accomplished in righteousness. Such a person is the recipient of God’s favor and grace.
“(3) Man cannot be made secure by wickedness, but the root of the righteous is immovable.”
These two are most likely the logical progression of the “good” and “wicked” man of verse 2. Verse 2 shows how God acts towards them and verse 3 reveals their end.
“(4) A capable wife is her husband’s crown, but a wife who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
The word “capable” has several meanings: strength, virtue, wealth, military strength. In this passage it is used like it was regarding Ruth in Ruth 3:11 and of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31.
Other translations have virtuous, capable, excellent, noble character and worthy.
The notes on this verse in the New English translation says this,
“This noble woman (אֵשֶׁת־חַיִל, ʾeshet khayil) is the subject of Prov 31. She is a “virtuous woman”, a capable woman of noble character. She is contrasted with the woman who is disgraceful (מְבִישָׁה, mevishah; “one who causes shame”) or who lowers his standing in the community.”
Many men feel as if their wife is their report card on their person and character which is not true – but it feels that way.
The woman was created FOR the man, as his capable helper and adaptable, loving companion.
Very little in all of God’s creation shows the beauty of God like a virtuous woman. She is lovely and graceful.
While in many respects she could steal the show in terms of beauty, charms and delights she uses all of her virtues for the advancement and benefit of her husband. As Proverbs 31 says, she does him good and no harm all the days of her life and the heart of her husband safely trusts in her. It is in large part due to her diligence and faithfulness that he is perceived with dignity and is well received in the places of honor.
God created man and woman so that neither is a full story on their own. Nevertheless, the position the woman holds is one of tremendous importance. She can either be the making or the uprooting of her husband. Therefore an ignoble and unvirtuous woman causes shame and is like necrotic tissue in his bones – meaning it will eat away at his native strength and the power of his influence within the sphere God has given him.
“(5) The thoughts of the righteous are just, but guidance from the wicked leads to deceit.
(6) The words of the wicked are a deadly ambush, but the speech of the upright rescues them.
(7) The wicked are overthrown and perish, but the house of the righteous will stand.
(8) A man is praised for his insight, but a twisted mind is despised.
(9) Better to be dishonored, yet have a servant, than to act important but have no food.”
This proverb is for generations such as ours, where appearances outweigh true substance. It means more to look smart than to be smart. To look refined, than to actually be cultured. To seem wealthy, than to be truly rich.
However, I like the New English translation here because I think it brings more of the depth of these words to light. It says,
“Better is a person of humble standing who works for himself, than one who pretends to be somebody important yet has no food.”
The idea of working for himself, can include the idea that the reward for his labor is his alone. While this typically applies only to the self-employed, it can include those whose income is not already spoken for before he earns it.
Again the full meaning of the first person is made clear in the defining of the second. The first person is someone which society at large lightly esteems or even dishonors. He is the small business owner or the blue collar worker but who is not wasting his days to pay back what he could not afford. Such people often live in humble dwellings, with basic food and old cars, but what they own is theirs alone!
Then there are those who make great pretense of wealth, but for all their glamor they are servants to the lender. Many would be surprised how often this describes those Celebrities, especially those who become wealthy very young. They often burn through their money and max out their extensive credit very quickly. Anyone looking on from the outside would assume they are wealthy when in fact they owe more money than you have ever made in your entire life. Yet they are set on pedestals in our society as lives to aspire to, when they are in fact to be pitied.
I will add this. It is even worse in some ways for those who are truly wealthy. At least the ones in debt are aware of their real poverty. Those who have an abundance often do not realize what is truly valuable until it is too late.
“(10) A righteous man cares about his animal’s health, but even the merciful acts of the wicked are cruel.
(11) The one who works his land will have plenty of food, but whoever chases fantasies lacks sense.
(12) The wicked desire what evil men have, but the root of the righteous produces fruit.
(13) An evil man is trapped by his rebellious speech, but the righteous escapes from trouble. (14) A man will be satisfied with good by the words of his mouth, and the work of a man’s hands will reward him.
(15) A fool’s way is right in his own eyes, but whoever listens to counsel is wise.
(16) A fool’s displeasure is known at once, but whoever ignores an insult is sensible.”
The power to be free from the opinions of man, is found in the fear of the Lord and coming to know His love for you. It is only when a person has come to see the true intrinsic value of God, His majesty and true worth that coming to know His love for you will have the power to change you. Once you have received His love – meaning you have received what most people seek for their whole lives – true and honest value of being. Being validated by their Maker – that the opinions of man can be seen as hollow as they really are.
Jesus said,
“I do not accept praise from people, (42) but I know you, that you do not have the love of God within you. (43) I have come in my Father’s name, and you do not accept me. If someone else comes in his own name, you will accept him. (44) How can you believe, if you accept praise from one another and don’t seek the praise that comes from the only God?” – John 5:41-44
Paul said,
“(1) One should think about us this way – as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. (2) Now what is sought in stewards is that one be found faithful. (3) So for me, it is a minor matter that I am judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. (4) For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not acquitted because of this. The one who judges me is the Lord. (5) So then, do not judge anything before the time. Wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the motives of hearts. Then each will receive recognition from God.” – 1 Corinthians 4:1-5
And isn’t this the true heart cry of every child of God? We live for the day of His face-to-face, spoken approval of us. When we hear His words, “Well done My good and faithful servant. Enter into the Joy of your Lord.” Why do we long for those words? Because we were created for His pleasure, so our highest place of happiness, joy and fulfilled satisfaction can only come from knowing that we are well-pleasing to Him! This is why the enemy attempts to get us to answer this longing question through the approval of other humans, but it can never satisfy. The only one that comes close in the approval of our earthly fathers and even then, it is only a prelude to the only One’s approval that really matters – our Heavenly Father!
“(17) Whoever speaks the truth declares what is right, but a false witness, deceit.
(18) There is one who speaks rashly, like a piercing sword; but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
I can personally give testimony to this. I used to be this person. I was quick to speak, quick to use my words like a razor to poke fun, cut or wound other people.
I believe this verse and verse 16 are sister verses because one has a direct impact on the other.
You see, I spoke with quick, humorous and cutting words out of my own insecurities and those insecurities came from my not receiving the validation of my natural father.
So rather than risk rejection or scorn, I always struck first, and thereby kept people on the defensive.
I was so proficient at this that I usually was in the middle of doing it before I realized, until one day I hurt someone dear to me.
I was only joking in this case, but my joking was relentless and he had finally had enough.
God used this to begin to break me. To break my heart over hurtful and hateful words which have their source in the heart. My heart was bitter and defensive and so my words were cutting, placing others on the defense.
It wasn’t until years later, that I met with God on a retreat, and allowed Him to answer the real question of my heart. The location in my heart which harbored all my fear and doubts about personal value and my acceptance before my Creator.
It terrified me to be that vulnerable to Him, but He met me with a love and an honest, transparent acceptance that melted all of my excuses for “why I can’t be loved” and “why I am not enough” or “why I feel rejected”. It caught me off guard. It destroyed all my defenses. It melted the chains I had forged from my own conclusions and it happened so suddenly and with such powerful finality that my soul didn’t have time to hide behind my previous convictions of my own worthlessness. It healed me SO completely that I’ve never questioned it again. As a result, it radically changed my mouth!
I used to be very quick witted and had an answer for everything. I often took an opposing stance to any in the room. And now, I just don’t think like that. When I am confronted and placed in a defensive position I often stand there a little stunned and take a moment to reply. More often than not I think before I speak. I consider the outcome of my words before I say them. I check to see where these words are coming from. Are they coming from a place of personal defense? Are they retaliatory? Are they just seeking to end conflict at the expense of honesty? Do they honor God? These are the things that often run through my mind before I say something. I still trip over my words, probably due to the fact that so much is going on in my mind before I respond in a defensive situation, but it is still far better than the heated, cutting and reactionary way in which I used to speak. And I owe that freedom to not react, to the fact that in my core, there is a settled awareness that I am accepted. That the only vote that truly matters has already been cast in my favor. So I am free to hear and not be hurt. I am free to consider what is said as an accusation, without it defining me. I am free to love, without needing it in return and that is liberating!
Now I wrote all of this so that I would not get lost in my words trying to convey it on the fly, but I did so before studying the rest of the passage. However, in reading the closing proverbial statements I find much in agreement with what we just covered.
“(19) Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue, only a moment.
(20) Deceit is in the hearts of those who plot evil, but those who promote peace have joy.
(21) No disaster overcomes the righteous, but the wicked are full of misery.
(22) Lying lips are detestable to the LORD, but faithful people are His delight.
(23) A shrewd person conceals knowledge, but a foolish heart publicizes stupidity.”
Shrewd is not always seen in the best light. It is a good trait and one I used to possess more than I do now, but it can have a subtle dark side. “Shrewd” is an adjective meaning to possess a sharp power of judgment, especially in practical matters, and often used to your own advantage. A shrewd person is clever, astute, and quick-witted, making good, perceptive decisions, though sometimes with a hint of cunning or calculation.
In this case it is being set forth as shrewd to not always show all your cards. Sometimes, only saying what has to be said, rather than all that could be said is the most prudent course. It is also the course least taken by the fool. They typically unload both barrels at one time. This is often in an attempt to overwhelm the one they perceive as their opponent. Most of the time these people do not realize how they come off to others -especially those with discernment. To them, this person appears silly or even worse – just plain stupid.
“(24) The diligent hand will rule, but laziness will lead to forced labor.
(25) Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up.
(26) A righteous man is careful in dealing with his neighbor, but the ways of wicked men lead them astray.
(27) A lazy man doesn’t roast his game, but to a diligent man, his wealth is precious.
(28) There is life in the path of righteousness, but another path leads to death.”
Blessings!
Tri
